Taking the bait

“There are no good black men in the world!” cry countless women from Anchorage to Miami as many of them throw on their Freak ’em girl dresses and stilettos to go to the club. The phrase has become so popularized in the black community that many people use it’s appeal as a marketing strategy. There seems to be dozens of black fiction books dedicated to this topic. When you drive by the bus stop, there’s always a young sista on the corner reading the latest “Niggas Aint Shit” novel. Tyler Perry loves talking about it as well in his “movies” and “plays” (I seriously try to support the brotha but damn, his psuedo-movies and psuedo-plays suck). It’s become so embedded in people’s heads, that they no longer know what a good black man looks like when they see one. Thus, the topic of this blog.

I sat in a restaurant Friday evening having a rather delicious piece of salmon. This particular restaurant becomes almost like a club setting on Friday night as young sistas and brothas flood the scene for reasonable drinks, good food, and the opportunity to impress each other among other things. The brothas come in wearing fresh polo style shirts, and jeans. Sistas wear dresses and stiletto heeled shoes. Some laugh, some shout, some genuinely have a good time. Others, not so much. There are always the sistas who watch the door desperately hoping an NBA player or celebrity will walk in and make all their trophy wife dreams come true. They are constantly disappointed (sorry ladies, Iverson is in Denver now). They wear their disgust on their face as countless brothas walk by them, none of course good enough for a conversation or smile. “Where are all the good men?” they grunt.

Meanwhile, back in reality, a brother in a suit sits next to these disgruntled sistas at the bar. He is indeed a celebrity. He’s battled Bill O’Reilly and Michelle Malkin on Fox News over countless issues, always defending the honor of black men and women. His opinion is revered on MSNBC & CNN. He was also a recent guest speaker on the BET Forum “Hip Hop vs. America” which focused on the misogyny in hip hop. In 2005, Ebony Magazine named this brotha one of America’s top 30 Black leaders under 30 years old. Yet, the young brotha sat at the bar on chill mode conversing with two bartenders while the sistas around him complained there were no good black men left in the world. How ironically pathetic.

Perhaps this young brotha didn’t want to be disturbed. It’s likely that he wasn’t there to meet women. Perhaps he just wanted a drink. That’s not the point. If Young Jeezy, Rick Ross or Freeway sat in that very same chair, most of the women in the restaurant would’ve been swooning, asking for autographs, & giving up their phone numbers in an attempt to get next to people who basically admit they hate black women in their music. As I listened to the complaints of the young sistas, I laughed out loud. “There are no good men left” was constantly repeated as young brothas wearing sunglasses (inside – when the hell did that become cool?) walked past them to order drinks at the bar.

My laugh quickly turned into feeling of disappointment as a young white woman said to her friend, “That’s the guy that was on BET.” Oh the irony of a young white woman noticing this brotha. She watched the BET special, “Hip Hop vs America,” which focused on the disturbing images of young black women in the media. This show was in honor of and dedicated to the sistas at the bar, in the restaurant, and outside in the streets. I was not disappointed that this young white woman watched the show. I was disappointed that the young sistas did not. Surely they would’ve noticed the young brotha who sat a mere two feet from them if they did.

I sat in utter disbelief. I wondered to myself if this young brotha was in Lil Wayne’s latest video pouring Ace of Spade on women, would he have been recognized by the sistas? I wondered how many autograph requests there would’ve been in the restaurant that night if he had made a fool of himself on the latest VH1 reality show. As it stands, he just happens to be a young Cornell West. A young Michael Eric Dyson. He just happens to be a soldier on the front line of change. Yet, he sat alone at the bar while sistas looked toward the door waiting for Elton Brand to walk in. Of course Elton never showed up, and the white woman who noticed this young brotha was too afraid to walk up to him. “It may be awkward for him to talk to me” she said to the woman sitting next to her. “I know how he feels about black women” she continued. Sadly, the sistas he sat next to did not know how much this young brotha loved his sistas. But the white woman was probably correct. If she would’ve walked up to the brotha, the sistas around the bar would’ve probably called him a sell out, even though they had no intention of sparking a conversation with him. Perhaps if his suit was made by Roc-a-wear or Ed Hardy, he would’ve appeared cooler. As it stands, it was probably Brooks Brothers or Armani.

It’s funny how a restaurant can turn into a Sociology experiment. The check sat in front of me for a good 15 minutes before I noticed it. As I got up to leave, the young brotha was still there. The sista that sat directly next to him answered her phone. The ringtone was Soulja Boy’s “She Got A Donk” which is yet another ode to the posterior of black women. I shook my head and left.

And oh, the young brotha? Dr. Marc Lamont Hill.

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30 Responses to “Taking the bait”

  1. I personally see this all the time. My boyfriend is a federal agent, wears a suit every day to work and ive noticed when we go places that women (especially black women— im white and hispanic) never look at him. While we were at a bar downtown Atlanta after work, we saw Dallas Austin walk in and sat at the same bar… these women that rolled their eyes at him when we walked in, were all over Dallas. I think its the public eye thing that most women at seeking when they pass over the ‘good men’ and go for the ‘highly paid puppet on a record.’ Not that I want a woman all over my man, but i dont get why they wouldnt give him at least a look. Hes 29, a federal agent, makes six figures, no kids, drives a new BMW 7. Why wouldnt you look? I hear women say “treat me with respect, dont think youre gonna get ‘this’ on the first night, etc” but when you deal with these music types, thats exactly what youre NOT going to get. However, these women are ok with being treated like garbage by those men because of the hopes that they might squeeze a baby out by one of them or be seen on TV. (If youre seen on TV, the likely hood of you being seen bouncing your ass in a thong in their video is high. Thats after you sleep with them and their crew of course.) So i think that yes, the men are responsible to a degree however, until women start having some value in themselves and the way they want to be treated, this wont change. Music men, here is what i have to say to you: Treat the women the way you would want some man to treat your daughter(s) or sister. However, if the chick is still acting like scum, TELL HER THAT THE REASON YOU WONT GIVE HER ANY TIME IS BECAUSE OF THAT, and kick her to the curb. Maybe if we start embarrassing these women and calling their behavior to the table, they’ll change.

    Oh on another note, Dr. Hill could sit next to me at a bar ANYTIME! =0)

    hdkaplan

  2. Puzzled Says:

    Wow… are you serious? I guess those black women are your average run of the mill hip pop culture followers…. translation: they don’t know any better than the bling bling, bootylicious, extravagant, pompous, empty life style of their idols. Now, just don’t go generalizing all black women. Some of us do know a good man when we see one. The sad part is when they are taken or their heart already belongs to someone else (regardless of race) that does not take away the fact that a brotha like that can’t be admired from a distance. I admit, that I am not part of BET or VH1 “faithful audience.” I was not aware of who he was until now. I would have probably admired the brotha if he was as poised as you described. I personally, don’t guide my interest in a man by what he is wearing or how much money he looks like he got. I guide myself by how he carries himself (Integrity, Humbleness, Determination, Charisma, Respect for others, Wits, Believes in Himself, and last but not least Values Family.) Then again, like you said, I fine specimen like him sure did not need to be bombarded by gold diggers looking for their “next meal ticket”.

  3. Jane Amp Says:

    that guy is cute. I would have noticed him.

  4. I enjoyed the article but not all black women look for flash, bling and have vast interests beyond what is shown on the videos.
    As the saying goes the sqeaky wheel gets the most oil, good bad or indifferent, our attention is naturally drawn to tackiest and the loudest.
    As a woman, whether I’m with my girls or not, and despite the ffact I am very out going, for me to rush off to be a groupie for the brotha with the latest ice on, is not my style, nor any woman that runs in my circle.
    I am a six fixgure sistah and then some, and at this point in my
    life I’m not looking for what a brother can buy me or what he has. What I desire money can’t buy.
    I have men come at me every way but the right assuming I am like one of those girls described in that article.
    With Black men and Black women somewhere there is a communication barrier but I guess that is a topic for another article.

    Oh and Hilary I don’t know your man, what he looks like etc. In my opinion the reason no sistah is hollerin at your man is because ur by his side. I say that for two reasons:
    1. He is with a female. Most women of substance (no matter what color) would not disrespect themselves and talk to someone else’s man while they are there. No woman of substance would do that. We live in a day and time where people is quick to settle something with a gun women included. No man is worth that aggrevation including yours.
    2. You are white. Basically if I saw a brotha with a white woman I wouldn’t give him a second thought. Not because of I am jealous of you, or that he crossed over as some white women would like to believe, it’s simply because most men who deal with white women have no attraction for black women no matter how intelligent, or beautiful they are, so why bother?
    Why even divert my attention that way?

  5. Everybody has this fictional perfect person in their mind that they are going to be with. its a reason why our grandparents said that the music,movies, and books that we call entertainment bad. After a while alot of people cant tell the difference in whats supposed to be real from fiction.

  6. The problem is that tattoo he’s displaying on his right left wrist is far too quiet, far too hidden and simply not “kiss a man on the mouth mafia style” over the top dark blotchy bs ink. I would suggest he staple a small billboard to his wrist stating “I like being pierced” and I’m surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre he will be valued by these sisters.

  7. It seems people just aren’t into the whole “getting to know you for you” type of interaction nowadays. Nor do they want to take a chance on what a person has, has had or could have. Instead they want a “sure thing”….Someone who is KNOWN to be someone and have something already, that something being only one thing…MONEY. Be it a movie star, ball player, recording artist etc….don’t matter as long as the dollars roll in. Forget going through the emotions of a relationship when you can fake the funk til you get in good and if it don’t work out, take him to court. That’s how society is nowadays. Quite sad actually.

    Nice article!

  8. man the dr can get it

    As for the blog…yea this happens all the time. You really could say it goes for men too though. Alot of men now a days just want a freak with the i.q of a wet mop. “Who cares if she’s intelligent how da ass look?” lol@the freak dress.

    good read<333

  9. Um…I have and did fall victim of the masaginitstic overkill of sexual divaness…I always believed that was where my wealth and worth was found. Not until I became a 30 year old and grew tired of the same old same old did I start to realize through growth and self love that “I” was worth more. Being hard wired via society, adversitements, commerciials, videos, etc I was programmed to believe that I was worth more in the body parts and pretty face I was bestowed. I, a woman, a mother, a sister, a friend, a lover, had succomed to the all to well known world of sex, lies and deciet. It won’t change until every CD purchaser, IPOD comsumer, Chat room logger, Big screen lover, Video producer, Rapper Guru..Black/White/Latino man puts down the proverbial mic and admits we are the creators of life..We are not booty bumpin hos..We are “women”. We are “wives”. We only drive the car that was given to us to the beat of “your” drum. We *women* decide to march to a different drum when we have had enough..but sadly there are 200 more women being born to carry the torch I left behind in my 20’s due to what life taught me ..Takes a lot to go against the grain.. I am part of the solution not the problem anymore…What side are you on???

    Sha..

    Mother, Sister, Lover, Woman……

  10. From the Beach Says:

    We went out to eat 4 nights this past week because we are out of town. Everywhere we went there were NFL players, some in suits, some not. Handsome black men. I smile back, nod, w/e to those that do the same to me, male and female. I don’t presume to disturb someone’s privacy, however. And what kind of signals was he sending out?…

    and the Real Question is – Why do our young black women feel the NEED to question whether the color of their skin would cause the handsome black professional, dressed like he had money to reject them? Come on now. We know why.

    I do get your point tho. Some young females (all races) (I dont think its the majority) seem to be attracted to the “thug type, dangerous type”. I dont think that’s anything new though. (See Rebel Without a Cause, Elvis, etc.)..And for those who “win” their thug..after several abusive, meaningless relationships, a few venereal diseases and about 6 restraining orders, she may actually see the virtue of giving nice guys a chance. The problem is – defining a “nice guy” today.

  11. This is the type of article that enlightens the intelligent, and offends the ignorant. I wonder how many women got offended, or self defensive when reading this? Anyway I’d like to give u my responses to women who want to know where good black men are, or the ones who say they always seem to date the men who aint shit…

    1. If you want a man thats about something…BE ABOUT SOMETHING!

    2. If you want a man to act like a man…TREAT HIM LIKE A MAN, he is not a child, stop talking down to him, stop giving him stupid ultimatums.

    3. Stop looking for the right man, there is no such thing as Mr. Right, but there is such thing as Mr. Right For You. Stop looking for perfection, it doesnt exist.

    How the hell are you gonna want a good man, but u aint bout shit? U got a job as a hairstylist and you go to nursing school, but u want a rich man who is a thug. WAKE UP!!

    OH YEA AND HERES A PIECE OF ADVISE, IF YOUR MAN DISRESPECTS HIS OWN MOTHER….DONT EXPECT HIM TO RESPECT YOU.

  12. Rhydonna Says:

    I’m in awe right now. I’m sitting here having a debate with a young friend of mine now about black men. She refuses to believe that there are just as many trifling women as there are men. She says she has never met a trifling female and that women are forced to do the messed up things we do. I TOTALLY disagree. She says that men just roll over and decide they are going to be “dogs” and women don’t do that. Again SO, SO not true! I’ve been through so much with so many and I’ve done so much to so many. I know there are still many “good” black men out there. I also know that if we (women) don’t get our stuff together God is not going to present us with those men. They obviously have theirs together so why place someone who still thinks she needs to put on a “Freak em” dress and stilettos to get a man? Oh you can get one. May not be what you want but it will pull it off. Real, Good men aren’t interested in having something serious with a woman who lays all her goods out before laying out her name.

    Ladies, step back and figure out who you are, what you really want, and get it together!!!! God already knows what you NEED and you won’t get it until you’ve got it together. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies…realize that we are not waiting on these men. We are waiting on GOD!!!! So let’s get it together so we can get the man He has set aside for us.

    Anyway I guess I did all that rambling to say, AMEN to the article.

  13. Not to worry, Marc gets plenty of love from his girlfriend Star Jones. Maybe the sisters read Bossip.com and already know he is taken

    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/phillygossip/Star_Jones_spotted_with_Daily_News_Sexy_Single.html

  14. Sadly, most of what was said in the blog is true.

    As a member of the “nice guy society,” and a person who is african american and latino, I’ve had the unique ability to compare and contrast what many are starting to see about alot of (not all) sistahs.

    I’ve sat by and watched as black females flock to the men that resemble their favorite actor, rapper, basketball player or BET video show personality, only to realize that these men have nothing to offer them but sex, requests to “hold it down” while they are in jail and excuses as to why they cannot take care of their children.

    It’s at this point that now, a nice, professional guy is looked upon to come and “save” them from their ravaged lives. Like most of my other friends who are professional and proud of it, I want nothing to do with these women, who run to the nearest soapbox screaming “there are no good men” in the world, because of the men that THEY have dealt with, when they wouldn’t know a good man if he were standing in front of her saying “hello,” instead of “yooo” or “shawty”.

    The saddest part of what I’ve been able to witness is the contrast in the women on the black side of my family and the women on the latino side. At a family BBQ, when asked what I for a living by a female that one of black cousins brought, I told her that I am a sports writer. Surprisingly (as I wasnt really looking for kudos), she responded with “but you’re not one of the players, right?”–almost with a disappointed expression on her face. On the other hand, I’ve answered the same question to some of the women on my “latin side” and their response to my profession was more along the lines of “that’s good–you’re a guy who’s about something–why are you single again?”

    While i know that it isnt ALL black females in America that feel this way, it’s starting to look like the majority of black women don’t want the “nice professional” black man until they’ve grown tired of chasing after what they see regularly on t.v….

    Frankly, that’s kind of lame if you ask me.

  15. Funny Story:
    I was in Miami Memorial day weekend, we were waiting outside of a crowded club, for a concert that we didn’t have tickets for, I happen to be very good friends with the artist who was performing, so in the process of getting him to come out to get us I noticed this beautiful “black” woman, I approached and asked her if I should see her once we are inside the clb couldI buy her a drink her reply was “Excuse me….. a drink? Don’t you mean a bottle? N*gga if you can’t do that you can’t afford me!” I just laughed at her, no negative response or anything. about 2 minutes after that my celebrity friend popped his head out signalling for me and my friends to enter the club. We accompany the artist to the stage(Hip-Hop necessity lol) as we were leaving the stage I feel someone grab my arm, guess who it is ding ding ding, yup you guessed it, the beautiful “black” woman from outside the club. She says to me smiling “So how about that drink” I took her to the bar ordered her drink and paid for it. As she started to make conversation with me I said goodnight to her and went back to the VIP section of the club. That had to be the worst drink she ever had to swallow in her life, it was called Pride.

    You know its funny, I honestly consider myself a good man. But I honestly believe it happens on both side men and women overlook what the need for what they want(or see). We see the surface, as a people Americans are so obsessed with celebrity, and it kinda sucks that black people are the most materialistic, sure its because we came from less than nothing. Sooner or later we are gonna have to decide to look at the bigger picture. I’m a 24 y/o american of african descent who is an entreprenuer I work a 9-5 run 2 sucessful businesses, and has a budding music career, and I only seem to attract women after they come to a show. I hardly attract the attention or respect from the new “black” woman. If they don’t see my mateial worth. They are not interested. I noticed a while back that caucasian women notice a strong black man before most black women do, its kinda disturbing.

  16. It takes a whole woman to see a whole man. As young girls, far too many sistas are not being exposed to, interacting with, and/or mentored by these the “good” brothas on a consistent enough basis to outdo/undo the far too frequent interactions (via media or otherwise) that they have with the misguided brothers. As a result, they only “see” that which glitters over that which is REAL. After hearing this story told at a Philadelphia Youth Poetry event (which also showcased some AMAZING BLACK MEN) my sisteafriends and I realized that we encounter the same challenge as that brother in the bar. The four of us ( all double degreed, natural haired and in the struggle for the liberation of our people) are often overlooked in those “popular” venues by the “fellaz”. This story renewed my energy in working with young sistas and helping to develop that trained eye in each other them to enable them to seek and see the “good” brothers out there, because there are plenty of them. Thanks:)

  17. I have to agree with the gentleman who wrote this article. Some of my friends look at me cross eyed when I tell them I don’t want to go to a club or a bar to meet a guy. Those are not the only two places in the world to meet intelligent African-American men. I am completely attracted to intelligence, common-sense, humor, height (sorry I choose not to deal with any more episodes of the Napoleon complex from men 5’5 and under). I love the creamy chocolate of our skin. What is wrong with admiring our men for their minds and not the size of their wallets? I will take an honest, hard-working, goal-setting, dream-catching man over a video pimp any day!

  18. ogugua onyejekwe Says:

    Hey,I would have noticed,but I am shy in nature,so I would have just looked on in admiration even if I never watched the show on BET.

  19. Phine with a Ph – worthy of a trip across the pond lol!

    Luckily over here the hip hop lifestyle is less prominent, but afraid to say the attitude does exist in the heart and minds of many women, the younger ones are even worse. I do feel for the regular Joe, I really do, must be so frustrating. I have some great ‘real’ guys as friends and they are alone and single cos they are doing what they have to do – not high profile but working, responsible and honest, family orientated, they don’t get the time of day – Its a real shame, it really is

  20. I found this article via another website, thus I had no inclination as to who wrote it. However, after reading the FIRST paragraph I already knew who it was written by. Let me guess, you went to Friday’s on City Line avenue on a Friday and the women in the restaurant did not fall upon your feet as they should have. Please excuse my brashness Dr. Lamont but from what I recall, you infamously hang at places where wholesome, educated black women do not hang. Thus, I must draw the conclusion that the type of woman that you are attracted to must be that gold digging, uneducated “Gucci-shoes-from-my-hustling-boyfriend” type chick. Maybe, if you would have chosen another bar such as the Walnut room (and don’t give me that bullshit about how you wanted Friday’s because there are plenty of other Friday’s you could have chose to attend), then you could have got a thumbs up for your debate on B.E.T.

    I hate when educated black men SPECIFICALLY go after the self proclaimed “models” and “actresses” (that have no credibility whatsoever besides those inartistic Men’s Magazine shots) and then complain about how uneducated and immature they are. Of course those chicks didn’t know who you were, and even if they did they still wouldn’t be interested. For affluent black women, a doctor or a lawyer is a great catch. However, to the average gold digging woman, your money comes too slow. Just as you admit that there are good, educated, black men in this world, there are also good, educated, black women. Switch your angle up Mr. Hill; try hanging at classier spots or going after someone of your own caliber. You can’t soar with eagles if you’re walking around with chickens babe. There are plenty of black women who know who you are, but you choose to focus on the one’s that do not. I love you Dr. Lamont, but sometimes you truly do get on my nerves.

    Temple University Student,
    Sabrina G.

  21. It the most pathetic commment in the world! It depends on the circle of people you surround yourself with. My king of 4 years is my soulmate and I actually have a problem being friends with male-bashers because there are plenty of women out there( people period) who continue to choose to point out other’s flaws to mask their insecurities. Constantly making up excuses as to why they are the way that they are but on the flip side they lack total self realization. First they should definitely realize what their true intentions are. Person, if you are out there for sex, money, or you met at a club, the chances are ummmmmmmmmmmm……… he/she’s not gonna be an angel. Before I met my honey I got played big time but I kept it movin and kept my heart open and met the love of my life. I refused to think all men all alike (how close-minded). Besides my King I have wonderful brothers and a marvelous father. I also have insanely talented and intellectual male friends. Its sad because I do have a few male friends that get discouraged by this dumb phrase and I’m left to explain to them that all women do not think this way. keep the interesting topics coming Vision………..

    Toni

  22. focusing more so on the point of “there r no good blk men left”, someone left this comment on 21stcenturyhustle..

    Reply by Irvin PeDro Cohen 14 hours ago
    There are GOOD brothers everywhere. The problem is that all of the aforementioned have convinced sista’s that there are none and true to form if you hear something enough times you will start to believe it.

    and my reply:
    Permalink Reply by CathrynMarie 1 second ago
    I know there are =) I’m a FIRM believer in everyone is different – there is no such thing as a bad person, just troubled people. There are reasons people are they way they are and everyone is not meant for everyone. Going through trials and tribulations within a relationship that makes one say someone is a dog or attempt to categorize all men or women is natural. Its called life experience’s and things you learn from. It is up to us to learn from the mistake made with a failed relationship or to harbor on it forever and be bitter.

    Im a woman and I HATE shopping – I HATE spending money but we go around thinking all women love to shop, etc. Just as we have it n our head that all men are dogs. Unlike the older generation, we lack the communication factor in relationships. We lack the ability to compromise now a days – life has been all about getting money and fucking over whom ever it takes to get that money.

    Ok – I’m ranting – lol. I just thought the blog post was interesting…CaT

    honestly, most people don’t even know what they want in a mate – a good man to most women is what society tells u is a good man. Dude just offered to fly me to Trinidad and my friends are like bitchhhhhhhhh – thats a good man..keep in mind I just met him and dont even know his last name (I know it now,lol) and all my friends know is what Ive told him. He has the funds to fly me to an exotic place and all of a sudden hes a good man. What if he has a wife and kids? What if he has AIDS/HIV? I actually thought long and hard about the trip (mainly cause of the company he associates with and them insiting he is a great man) but I think Im going to pass. Thats not my style to have some man I barely know fly me across the world just to possibly have to give up the ass cuz he spent so much on me – nigga earn my pussy the RIGHT way. Get to know me and let me learn you and admire, and respect you…Im sayin, lol =) – CathrynMarie

  23. tomwars Says:

    Sabrina,

    Close but no cigar. You got the location right (guess I couldn’t have made it more obvious if you’re a Philadelphian) but I am not Dr. Hill.

    I do however agree with you on your “model” point though. This blog wasn’t meant to be woman bashing and I apologize if it came off that way. The point still stands tall though.

    For the record, I do believe the same thing would’ve occurred if the tables were turned though. If the sista from the BET forum (The Princeton Professor) were there as opposed to Dr. Hill, more than likely she would’ve sat alone as well.

  24. I think people need to realize that America has gone media crazy. We have lost our good role models and now we in the era of do you. People don’t value professionalism just bling and rappers/actors. The question is why did the brother not want to approach any of the women? Or any women in that restaraunt. I have heard of the new age man wanting women to holler at him. I don’t agree because a man’s mind turns to sex when we do this. Its never positive or lasting.

    We need to wake up and re-evaluate what is important in black relationships and not what we “think” we want. But our actual needs.

    http://poshlifeposhstyle.blogspot.com/2008/07/grown-and-sexy-do-relationships.html

  25. Confusing Heywood Jahblowme with Dr.. Lamont………….simply hilarious. On top of which, Sabrina really seems upset at this Dr. Lamont fellow. This is great.

  26. Actually, this blog does not give enough information to truely assess the situation. We have no clue whether Dr. Hill expressed any interest in these women whatsoever. Some men give off vibes that they would rather be left alone. We also don’t know how many other black women in the room recognized Dr. Hill and just didn’t say anything. When you were taking notes, did you notice the women in the room who weren’t dressed in minis and high heels?

  27. You make valid points, but I gotta agree with Nonya. Who said Dr. Hill was even interested in any of the women in the room? And even if he were, do his doctoral degree and status as a sociopolitical pundit qualify him as a “good man?” He’s clearly a smart, driven, young, attractive dude but just because he has a Ph.D. doesn’t make him The One. In fact, I think a lot of brothers get caught up in their M.A.s and J.D.s and M.B.A.s and start thinking that’s all they have to have to be a good catch when the reality is they can be just as emotionally trifling as the Flashy Dude at The Bar.

    And besides, who’s to say Dr. Hill – or the proverbial Good Dude at The Bar – isn’t involved and just doesn’t give a damn about the chickens that come a-cluckin’?

    Strangely enough, I saw him in a bar this week too and I recognized him. I’ve also met him. And I don’t think it’s silly that I didn’t throw my panties into his lap on those occasions. 😉

  28. lol@i love u dr lamont…did I miss something??? qq@sabrina

  29. Hello there…

    very often…we attract to us a reflection of what we are…

  30. Wow, Sabrina

    Did Dr. Hill not notice you, return your advances. or given you a C when you really wanted an A? You seem really angry?

    I totally agree with Bee Easy and Nonya, how do we/you know if Dr. Hill appeared open enough for an educated or a woman “worth” his time to approach him. Did he appear as though he didn’t want to be bothered? Also, not knocking Dr. Hill (I’ve never met him)but who’s to say he’s a “good” dude just because he’s educated? If so what do you expect. Do SOME women go for the guy with the bling, yes, but there are also women who go for intellect.

    I know I’m on the late show, but please tell me Dr. Hill is not dating Star Jones!!!

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