Archive for December, 2008

Obama Fighting Championship

Posted in Fight Music with tags , , , , , , on December 28, 2008 by billionoreally

Last night, my entire roster (if I had a fantasy UFC league), showed Dana White and the entire world of MMA that the message that was sent on November 4th from Chicago across the world would be followed up in the UFC.

First we had Cheikh Kongo teach people that if you knee in the nuts you are going to get knocked out after you get a knee to the nuts in return.

Continuing on, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson went on to destroy his long time rival Wanderlei Silva in the first round at three minutes and twenty one seconds….exactly the same time it takes to heat up plaintains, rice and beans in the microwave. On top of which he entered the ring with a intro by Damien Marley and accompanied by his manager, some cat with a weird name from some place called “Staten Island”. Being there live, I have to tell you, how amazing it was that Wanderlei fans chanted his name while some even had the nerve to wear McCain Palin shirts. So of course….

God's Gold

God's Gold

At the end of the knock out, after over coming some personal diffculties after losing his belt to Forest Griffin months prior, Jackson stated: “all praise due to MOST HIGH….shout out to Prodigal Sun”.

The first is in fact the last and yes….Wu Tang still ain’t nuttin to fuck with.

Oh but we’re not done.  No sir we’re not done. As may of you know I have been following the career of one “Sugar” Rashad Evans since his debut on the Ultimate Fighter reality show season two. He entered as a heavy weight just to get his lane and was required to train with very little prior experience under a bitchass of a coach who didn’t like him, his style or his skin color known as Matt Hughes. As fate would have it, Rashad won the show and entered the UFC, dropping weight to 205lbs after his first fights were won in decision. Since then he has added knock out power, refined his mind game and inherited Jardin’s love for receiving knock out punches that “don’t hurt mang”. Did I mention that he also seems to hang around Staten Island kids who watch kung fu flicks and entered the ring to KRS 1’s “Rapture”. Um….

Good night Forrest

Good night Forrest

After a few well placed strikes in third round, Griffin was on his back feeling the fists of the new America as Rashad pounded him out until the ref called it at two minutes and forty six minutes making Sugar the new lightweight champion and the second black man to win a UFC belt within weeks of the first.

Thank you Obama, see you in a few weeks.


Uncle Ruckus gets the holiday spirit (McGruder, you’re a genius)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 22, 2008 by tomwars

King Kong don’t have shit on them: Pharmaceutical Companies

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 12, 2008 by tomwars

Pharmaceutical companies are worse than Cocaine and Heroine cartels.

A few years back, a friend of mine told me about this disease called African Sleeping Sickness that affects up to 500,000 or so people per year, and kills roughly 50,000. It’s a parasitic disease carried by the Tsetse fly in sub-Saharan Africa. It can be violent as shit since it affects the central nervous system and eventually drives the person crazy. My friend is a virologist and does extensive work on parasites and such as well through the University of Pennsylvania. When telling me the story about African Sleeping Sickness, she told me there’s a cure for it called Eflornithine.

Eflornithine was discovered in the early 90s. It’s been called a wonder drug for sleeping sickness as it revives late stage comatosed sleeping sickness patients. When the parasitic protozoa enters the brain and spinal cord, Eflornithine chases it down and kicks its ass. From the early 90s, until the turn of the millennium, it was known that Eflornithine was a miracle drug for Sleeping Sickness. Yet, pharmaceutical companies almost let the stock run completely dry because it didn’t cure anything they could make money off.

Eflornithine is very expensive to make. It was initially marketed as a cancer treatment; unsuccessfully. If it could’ve been used for cancer, obviously it would have been a huge money maker for whoever mass produced it. The question then begged, how the hell could people make money off it?

Bristol-Myers Squibb and Gillette use Eflornithine in a facial hair removal cream that retails for up to $60. Aventis, the patent holder, donated a small amount to African countries, but small amount is the key word. Eflornithine was kept under wraps for cosmetic purposes, because that’s the only way these rich fucks could make money from it.

So in sum, removing hair from a woman’s lip in NYC and Paris is more important than curing poor Africans.

I wonder if things would’ve been different if it was called British Sleeping Sickness or American Sleeping Sickness.

You’ve Been Warned!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2008 by EyanJ

Tom Wars Autotune Compilation Album coming soon. Make your requests here or forever hold your peace.

, too

PS- I’m serious, too. Let us know if you want to get down on a couple tracks.